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As 2015 draws to a close, Pickwick has struggled up the mountain to the sunlit uplands of Political Correctness, to bring down some new guidance, so that we can all make the world a better place in 2016.

TEN NEW COMMANDMENTS

(according to that darling of The Left, Owen Jones)

1. THOU SHALT continue to laugh at UKIP with all thy heart, and all thy mind, and all thy soul. For not so do suggesteth that many millions of ordinary and unpretentious British citizens are NOT actually swivel-eyed loons, mindless bigots and malicious racists.

 
2. THOU SHALT laugh thyself into near incontinence at BBC Radio Four comedy panel shows, particularly The News Quiz. Yea, when Jeremy Hardy and Andy Hamilton cracketh jokes about UKIP, thou shalt laugh in abundance, verily until thy sides do split

3.THOU SHALT NOT take unto thyself a partner but they be called transgender, cisgender, gender neutral, F2M, polygender, two-spirit, M2F, pangender, transitional, or any combination thereof.

4. THOU SHALT NOT find derision in the words and wisdom of the Blessed Jeremy Corbyn. Nor from thy mouth shalt be uttered the phrase, "Out of touch bearded twat", neither shalt thou enquireth of Diane Abbott, "Who hath eaten all the pies?"

5. THOU SHALT NOT display, flaunt, wear a garment incorporating, or otherwise rejoice in the Union flag, the flag of St George or other symbols of repression and slavery. The flags of ISIS, Palestine, Pakistan, or the LGBT Rainbow shall be displayed in their glory. 

6. THOU SHALT NOT speak unto others, nor cause to be uttered, the word 'Christmas'. Midwinter, December Break, Solsticetide shalt ever be upon their lips. 

7. THOU SHALT continue to bow down in awe of the Holy Trinity of the North London Liberal Consensus, and thus thou shalt worship none other than The Guardian, and at the right hand Owen Jones, and at the left, the BBC.

8. THOU SHALT remember that God created the great monster Diversity and every whingeing minority that moves, of every kind, with which the social media swarms, and Social Justice Warriors of every race and creed. And God saw what he hath made, and sayeth, "Oh, Shit..!"

    9. THOU SHALT gaze with affection upon the works of those who bring drama workshops to refugees, gender awareness training for unbelievers, safe spaces for the victims of cultural oppression, and bountiful manna for those whose benefits hath been cut. 

   

 

10. THOU SHALT NOT forget that child grooming and rape, forced marriage, insistence on Sharia Law, public beheading, verbal assaults on the British way of life, religious hate speech, support for ISIS, indoctrination of the young, electoral fraud and refusing to accept British cultural values have Nothing To Do With Islam.

 

And this shall be

the greatest Commandment of them all.

Evenin' All - the thrust of last Sunday's blog was about how our wonderful media seem to be falling over themselves to label various Pakistani or Arabian gentlemen as being 'British'. Particularly if they have been caught up in some skullduggery or other out in the vast and bloodstained deserts of the Middle East or Afghanistan. Now, it may well be that Moazzam Begg, Binyam Mohamed, Jamal al-Harith, Rhuhel Ahmed, Asif Iqbal and Shafiq Rasul are all as British as tweed jackets, pork scratchings (whoops - sorry!) and queues at the Post Office, but I beg to differ. Whatever it says on their passports, their conduct, dress, political affiliation and general animosity towards all things British tells a different tale. Let's be blunt. They are as British as female genital mutilation, covering wives and daughters in curtains, and beheading folk we disagree with - or someone who once talked to someone we disagree with.

Now, keep this thought close by. Scribble it on a Post-It note if needs be. These not-so-jolly chaps were all welcomed into the British fold with a delirium not seen since Accrington Stanley last won the FA Cup. Did they ever win the FA Cup? No matter.You get my drift. In extreme contrast with these jolly Britons, whose only task in life is to celebrate all things British, to praise the day that they were afforded UK citizenship, and to defend our culture across the world, I introduce two young men. 

Their mum and dad have chosen to live in Wisbech. OK, so there's no accounting for taste, but dad has made a massive contribution to sporting life in the town. He is a formidable former Rugby player, and as a coach he has covered himself in distinction, from directing the Under Sevens right up to today, when he is 1st XV coach. Both sons have played for Wisbech at different age groups. Both sons are bi-lingual, subscribe totally to the British way of life, and ask for nothing more than to earn British citizenship. Just like our colourful friends who were nabbed doing questionable things in the desert.

The two young men concerned are Darryl Veenendaal, and his brother De La Rey Veenendaal. Let them speak for themselves. Darryl, like his brother, is a superb sportsman. He played Sunday after Sunday for Wisbech youth teams, and has gone on to succeed in the men's professional game. Darryl writes.

Application for British Citizenship:

In 2013 my brother De La Rey and I spent weeks preparing and revising for our citizenship test, passing it in April. We completed and submitted British Citizenship Applications and paid the £874 application fee each in May 2013, at the time we were informed that the waiting period could take up to six months. Having not received any response we contacted the Home Office to enquire about the situation. We were informed that the process had been delayed and that we would receive a response shortly. We waited patiently but did not receive any further information. We continued to contact the HO, receiving the same response without any details of what was delayed. In 2015 we contacted our local MP Stephen Barclay in an attempt to receive answers. We asked him to assist us. The issue was instead delegated to his team who contacted the HO only to receive the same answer. They told us that it was simply pending and that we would receive something in writing within a “few weeks”. Having not heard anything, we again contract Mr Barclay, whose team again contacted the HO, receiving the same vague responses. I made a request for Mr Barclay to take a more hands-on, assertive and personal approach to our long suffering issue. However, I received no further response from Mr Barclay’s Team.

De La Rey takes up the story:

Citizenship:

In 2013 my brother Darryl and I spent weeks preparing and revising for our citizenship test, passing it in April. We completed and summited British Citizenship Applications and paid the £874 application fee each in May 2013, at the time we were informed that the waiting period could take up to six months. Having not received any response we contacted the Home Office to enquire about the situation. We were informed that the process had been delayed and that we would receive a response shortly. We waited patiently but did not receive any further information. We continued to contact the HO, receiving the same response without any details of what was delayed. In 2015 we contacted our local MP Stephen Barclay in an attempt to receive answers. We asked him to assist us. The issue was instead delegated to his team who contacted the HO only to receive the same answer. They told us that it was simply pending and that we would receive something in writing within a “few weeks”. Having not heard anything, we again contract Mr Barclay, whose team again contacted the HO, receiving the same vague responses. I made a request for Mr Barclay to take a more hands-on, assertive and personal approach to our long suffering issue. However, I received no further response from Mr Barclay’s Team.

So what do we have? On the one hand, any number of potentially violent Islamic zealots who are worshiped by British mainstream media, despite their potential to do us harm. On the other, two young men who, in word and deed, subscribe to all that is positive, enthusiastic and life-affirming about British life and culture. The Islamists are, allegedly British citizens, but vilify and curse everything we stand for. Darryl and De La Rey? Well, they have pitched in with enthusiasm. They love Britain and all its opportunities, its fairness, and its basic decency. Can they become British citizens? 

             NOT A CHANCE, APPARENTLY.